Andy’s Follies #19 – Hugs


Yes, here is another true tale of anxiety and social awkwardness.

I’m not a hugger. I know this puts me at a disadvantage socially speaking. I try to make it a joke by saying that line Good fences make good neighbors. Most of the time I just get blank stares. People just don’t like that Robert Frost message I’m giving.

But why should I hug? I’m not against physical contact with some people. You know, a few blood relatives and that special someone I’m romantically involved with. Everyone else can get a knuckle bump or a friendly wave hello.

Isn’t that enough?

And to tell you the truth a lot of hugging seems, well, disingenuous.


I’ve seen a lot of hugs by people to people they don’t really like.

Does that person they are hugging really deserve it? By giving out hugs so willy-nilly does it lessen the value of them for all of us?

I think so.

Fight the power, friends.

Don’t be hug-bullied.




#5 Friends And Anxiety

#5 edit

You have to surround yourself with good people. They are like border collies who will nip at my ankles when (not if) I’m doing something stupid.

Did you know border collies nip at the legs of sheep to herd them? Now you do.

And the thing is I can’t just have one person nipping at me. That would burn one person out quickly. I need a gaggle — a team — to keep me from, well, being too much me. Too much me turns out to be bad. I need to keep it Baby Bear me. Not too hard. Not too soft.

I think Aristotle said something like that.

Hopefully, you enjoyed this little cul-de-sac of thinking.

Thanks for reading.


#2 – Getting Touched

Andy's Follies #2

My anxiety bubbles up in odd ways.

Every once in a while my neck and shoulders seize up on me. It was getting so bad I decided to get a massage. The goal was to get those muscles to calm down a little bit and relax.

I’ll be talking a bit about my invisible disability on Andy’s Follies. The reason why it’s invisible is that I’ve spent a lot of time and energy figuring out how to appear to be normal. If my weird muscle condition doesn’t cause my neck/shoulder pain, then it probably exacerbates it. And if I don’t manage that pain, then I get migraines.

I hate having migraines.

Anyway, my trip to the masseuse brought up some issues I have about getting touched by people I don’t know well. Somehow, we were able to navigate around said issues. My neck/shoulder pain is back to being manageable.